A Heretical Tooth!

After one hour and a half of constant tugging, pulling, pushing and poking, my dentist gave up. “Keep the damn tooth,” he said. “I just wanted to pull it out because it has no counterpoint on the lower jaw, which could be problematic in future. But, if it’s going to give us that much headache now, perhaps you should just live with it for a while longer.” 


I couldn’t agree more. Preemption is not always the most viable way to go. This little battle with the Tooth is going to cost me a few days work, and is going to exacerbate my ability to handle pain. I am not as good at it as I used to be.

Years go, my doctor had to hammer and chisel my wisdom tooth out, and I still managed to quip, while prepping my jaw up with my left palm, about the possibility of striking oil and dividing shares. This time though I almost fainted.

Still, there is an upside to this. As an Arab liberal, there was really nothing I can look up to these days as symbol of resistance in the face of adversity. Now I have my own Tooth. Hail the Tooth. Hollowed be thy Tooth, all praise goes to the Tooth.

Now, I am going to take my medicine and go to sleep, because, like all objects of worship, the Tooth is actually torturing me. It’s killing me. Fuck the Tooth. I guess I am a blasphemous heretic by nature. I am beyond redemption or salvation even when the deity or messiah concerned is my own tooth.

If none of this made any sense, or if it sounded too banal, just remember I am pumped full of painkillers. I am not supposed to make sense. I am just supposed to gripe, and I guess I am doing a pretty good job at it.

4 thoughts on “A Heretical Tooth!

  1. Your post makes very good sense!Only three of my wisdom teeth arrived; all in my early twenties. As the third one was unopposed, it continued to grow until it began to damage the gum across from it.The doctor gave me gas (which “made me” grab the nurse on her ass), shots, and then a GIANT PILL which made me delerious. He wrestled endlessly with the tooth but finally got it out.I was so fucked up from the medication that I got lost driving home and ended up way across town facing a police officer who showed me the way.My jaw was sore for days.—Dan

  2. You have my sincere sympathies. Toothache is no pleasure. I had an ill fitting crown which resulted in food causing a gum pocket. This resulted in decay in the bifurcation of the tooth and an apical problem which to this day reminds me that the tooth is still fighting in its socket. I had to have the ill fitting crown replaced and this in itself was an ordeal. The dentist suggested an implant after the tooth is removed. The maxillo-facial surgeon with whom he consulted, said “Leave the tooth alone”. So I am being reminded periodically of the ordeal. Eventually, time will prove that the tooth will have to go.

  3. I’d drink whiskey or vodka if I were you. Don’t you ever get a chance to watch cowboy movies?! If you drink whiskey after a bullet wound, you tend to live (or be so drunk that the pain goes away).Wonderful site you have!Rudy

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