Riddled with such deep-seated sense of guilt, I know, I sound more Christian, more Catholic to be specific, than a Muslim. But then, this is what happens, I guess, when you put a 3-year old Muslim boy in a Maronite nunnery for two years. I can no longer bargain with God for my salvation. I just have to beg for it now, even prove worthy of it. Damn!
To complicate things even further, I am, as you know, not really a believer. Can you comprehend now the nature of my despair? To whom should I prove myself worthy? And who will deliver this salvation?
On a related note, the Brookings just published a transcript of my recent talk on Syria after Mehlis. Also, my recent article in the Daily Star promises to put me in more trouble with the Syrian authorities. If I cannot earn my salvation, I might as well earn my damnation.