Salvation for a Heretic!

I go through life motivated mostly by guilt, guilt over crimes too unfathomable to mention. I struggle with the bits of memories I have within, to no avail. The nature of my crimes continues to elude me. But I know I am guilty. I know I have to atone for myself, even at the risk of committing more crimes, even at the risk of committing public suicide (by proxy, of course). 

Riddled with such deep-seated sense of guilt, I know, I sound more Christian, more Catholic to be specific, than a Muslim. But then, this is what happens, I guess, when you put a 3-year old Muslim boy in a Maronite nunnery for two years. I can no longer bargain with God for my salvation. I just have to beg for it now, even prove worthy of it. Damn!

To complicate things even further, I am, as you know, not really a believer. Can you comprehend now the nature of my despair? To whom should I prove myself worthy? And who will deliver this salvation?

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On a related note, the Brookings just published a transcript of my recent talk on Syria after Mehlis. Also, my recent article in the Daily Star promises to put me in more trouble with the Syrian authorities. If I cannot earn my salvation, I might as well earn my damnation.

One thought on “Salvation for a Heretic!

  1. Do you believe in any form of metaphysical existence?This is an interesting article. Your subtle warning at the end concerning the presence of unrevealed evidence is compelling. But since when has anything compelling managed to compel that regime?And on the Damascus Declaration, compromise is to be expected. And, for the sake of political expediency, maybe its not such a bad thing to have the Islamic front united with the secular front. That is–as long as the balance is maintained.

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