The Lord of Desolation!

What will you do for your fifteen minutes of fame?

Well, Hassan Nasrallah of Hezbollah fame is busy celebrating the destruction of his country on various Arab TV channels, a development that is currently affording him the opportunity to prove his worth in the Arab Street as a hero of the national resistance.

Indeed, and as the Israelis continue to bombard Lebanon back to the Stone Age, killing more than 400 civilians so far (not counting the bodies still buried under the rubble) and causing more than 10 billion USD in damages, and counting, the turbaned symbol of our forever impending national salvation continues to promise us victory, a feat that will likely assume the form of personal survival, namely: his.

For the main difference between Islam and Christianity seems to lie in the nature of our messianic figures. The Christian Messiah goes to the cross to redeem the sins of the flock. Islamic Messiahs (plural is both necessary and factual), on the other hand, have always sent the flock to the cross for their sins. But, having had a long history of behaving in a manner similar to Islamic messiahs, Jewish leaders, seems to have come up with an ingenious compromise here, namely: sending other people, messiahs and all, to the cross for their sins, for these people’s particular sins, and for the sins of whoever happened to be in the neighborhood at the time. You can even bid to have your sins redeemed in the process.

So, as Nasrallah’s rockets poke occasional holes in Israeli buildings, and Israeli bombs often bringing down whole buildings on top of occasional Hezbollah fighters, the promised victory is threatening to assume the guise of a series of little defeats, adding up to a catastrophe of major proportions, that only the survival of our Lord of Desolation can help mask. But if our recent history has taught us anything is that much can indeed be swept under the turbans of our leaders, be they real or purely figurative, the turbans that is.

6 thoughts on “The Lord of Desolation!

  1. Nice comparison of the Massiahs! lolIt explains the Jews superior complex of being God’s chosen ones which means others should pay, the Islams inferior complex of being slaves of God where their leaders are God’s representatives on earth, the slaves should pay. While Christians percieve it as a fatherly relationship where the father should pay! Maybe that is why the leaders of the western world can be trashed and crossed for their mistakes! 🙂

  2. As much as I dislike LBC, I say they should be running more satires of Nasrallah daily–that is if I wasn’t afraid it would actually start a civil war. It’s high time for the Danish to publish more cartoons. Maybe this will suffice as a distraction from hating Israel.

  3. Clever, witty and true.Ammar don’t forget the other two kinds of messiah:Messiah of atheism (as in “Religion is the opium of the people” – Karl Marx) and Messiah of Secularism.These two types are not to be confused. The former is anti religion while the latter is anti fundamentalism. I’m promoting secularism because entry and exit are free. Entry into Judaism or Islam means you’re a born loser (LOL); You lose your foreskin on the way in and might also have your head chopped off on the way out. Entry into Christianity automatically calssifies you as a born sinner. You spend your life feeling guilty and trying to redeem yourself, and you keep turning the other cheek to your enemies, but almost always end up burning in hell. Secularism is the way.

  4. Secularism is it for me as well, Philip. Yaman, I am not sure what exact impact publishing some new cartoons will have at this stage, but I am sure that it will be adding more fuel to the fire. We need to try to contain the conflict now, else it will spread and will involve more and more countries and more and more peoples. But it is probably too late now.

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